


Praise be the paradise I find in you

by The scribe (TheGreenHuntress109)



Series: Delight in Disorder [4]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley has anxiety, Crowley in a dress, Crowley in makeup, F/F, F/M, Flowers, Fluff, Holidays, Idiots in Love, Ineffable triad, Lily is life literally, Other, Picnics, Softie Crowley (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), still uses him he pronouns, taking a break
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-06-30 08:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19849360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenHuntress109/pseuds/The%20scribe
Summary: Lily has had enough of her boys being so tense in London, and hopes it will slow down heaven if they try to come for her. Thankfully theres this quaint little cottage in south downs for her and her boys to relax.It's here that they can finally revel in their love without the memories of the apoca-didn't happen tainting their time together.Unfortunately Heaven didn't get the memo.Just some fluff with a little plot for you here, I figured these guys deserved some happiness.





	1. Holiday by the sea

“Are you going to fly, or just stand there all day?”  
Lily poked her tongue out at Death as she continued to stand on the mountain ledge, “This is harder than it looks, Azzy.”   
Death sighed sounding like the wind sighing and Lily grinned. She had been having a wonderful time with the nicknames since she remembered the Angel’s called him Azreal. Though neither of them belonged to either side heaven had still tried to claim Death as one of their own by giving him another name, but a name does not make an angel. No matter what you tell the humans.   
And honestly, it was rather arrogant to claim another living thing. Then again, she had met Gabriel.  


“As I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me.” She shot him a mock glare to which he chuckled. It was surprisingly easy to befriend Death. He understood that Lily was no longer the entity he had known, her experiences had changed her, but he was still willing to spend time with her and teach her how to master her powers again. “As I was saying, Zira’s stopped hesitating when he eats.” She beamed as her wings stretched out behind her as if doing wing aerobics, “And Crowley was able to spend half a day outside. We had a picnic.” She giggled excitedly. Since she made it her mission to keep Death company all she had really been able to do is gush about her loves. She couldn’t help it, now that she spent more time with them the only stories she had were of them. And honestly, they were all she wanted to talk about.

Finally, she admitted defeat. She wasn’t going to fly anytime today, they could at least have started small but Lily had been too excited to finally use her wings.  
Death stared down at her, “But what about you? How are you dealing with everything?” Death asked. He waved a hand and the chilly mountain cliff held two small camping chairs and a hot cup of honeyed tea waiting for her. She took the seat with a thoughtful expression. Honestly, she hadn’t really thought about the apoca-nothing, it really had ended up being nothing. Well no, she had gotten together with her boys and she had gained another godson out of it.  
Oh, Adam was a good one, always used his manners as best a boy his age could and didn’t mind when Lily dropped by, unfortunately on her own. She had even helped to make a treehouse with the Them.  
She would have loved to visit with Aziraphale and Crowley in tow, but Aziraphale had taken to organising his books again and almost obsessively checked and rechecked. While Crowley just didn't want to go anywhere anymore, it was like he always expected an attack and had made sure the bookshop was their own castle. He had even thrown away all of Aziraphale's candles with a bit too much malice. Nether of them were going anywhere near Tadfeild.

Lily shrugged, “I’m fine, just… waiting I suppose.”  
“For what?” Death asked as he, surprisingly, sipped on his own mug of tea. Lily curled around her cup with a puzzled expression, she wasn’t quite sure what she was waiting for; but she knew she was waiting for it. Death blew on his mug with a whistle that had Lily smiling softly, it was nice to have another friend sometimes. She loved her boy’s, but sometimes you needed some else to talk to.  
“How is your relationship?” He asked rather casually, which meant he was sifting for gossip. What an image it was to think of Death as a gossiping school girl. Lily couldn’t help but smile.  
Everything was fine with her relationship. It was slow going with hurt on all sides and healing wounds they hadn’t even realised were opened. Slowly they patched each other up with whispered words of love and gestures that said the same.

“It’s good. I just… I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.” She sips on her tea and strokes the leaves of a scraggly tree that had managed to grow on the mountain.   
Death sighed and waved his tea out of existence, “We both know the angels will try to claim you, now they know who you are.” He reached over to take her hand, cold bone wrapped around flesh fingers, “But you can’t continue like this, you need to take some time for yourself.”  
Lily lit up, “Like a holiday?” she had actually been thinking about it since the end of the Apoca-didn’t-happen. After all, they deserved to have a little bit of one, seeing as neither Aziraphale nor Crowley had had a proper holiday before, guilt or stress free.  
Death shrugged, “That was not what I meant, but as long as you’re careful… I think it would be beneficial for you and those two.” He muttered something about Crowley getting out of the bookshop. It would be good for Crowley to spend more time outside, it was worrying what the end times had done to her pretty snake.  
“You know you need to think about yourself too, they wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself because you think you have to be strong for them.” Death told her as he took her own empty mug. Lily smiled softly at him, he was always worrying about her. It was sweet and Lily did enjoy her talks with Death, even if she did have to sneek away. But she wasn’t sure the boys would see Death how she did, as a friend and someone who wasn’t in the best mental state. Death wanted it to end, he was tired of only experiencing the dead. Some of them were fine to talk to but a majority of them were…morose. Lily had suggested retiring like she had technically been over the 6000 years she didn’t know who she was, he had been looking into it but no such luck yet.

Lily stood, “I’m fine.” She gave him a nod, “See you after my holiday then.”   
Death sighed but let her go with a final warning, “Remember to look after yourself.”

* * *

Crowley had not wanted to go on holiday, but seeing the two of them so happy as they planned it, he had to say yes. Aziraphale had suggested somewhere in the south downs and Lily had found herself booking a large cottage and packing all the bags days before the holiday.

That’s how Lily found herself running from room to room, the bags already in the bedroom and Crowley sprawled across the sofa in the living room. He had said it looked like wallpaper in an old lady’s home, with flower patterns all over the sofa, Lily thought it was quite homely next to the large fireplace and the large flat screen Tv, especially for Crowley. Aziraphale sat in the matching armchair on the left, he had already filled the small kitchen cupboards and fridge, now he was sifting through all the leaflets the lovely old lady who owned the cottage had given them with the keys.

“Oh there’s a farmers market going on, Can we go?. I want to look at their honey.” Lily chatted excitedly from behind Aziraphale, already grabbing her coat and passed Aziraphale his own. Aziraphale smiled warmly at her as he stood and began to ready himself.  
Crowley shook his head, or had been shaking it the whole time she wasn’t sure, “No.” he said flatly as if Lily was going to stay just because he said no, “It’s not safe. Stay here, I can put up more wards.” He glanced around as if already knowing where these wards would go. Lily just took his hand and pulled him up for a peck on the lips, “Honey, we’ll be fine. Plus, if you’re with us we’ll be safer.” She could be a damned good tempter when she wanted to be, came with knowing a demon for the better part of 6000 years. Crowley pouted, but Lily kissed him just a tad longer this time and he began to melt, “Won’t you be my guardian demon? We can even look at plants for the garden.”   
Crowley gave a longing look towards the spacious back garden and she knew she had him.  
The garden had been a major selling point when she had looked for the cottage. Crowley needed to get outside and taking care of a garden was just the distraction for him to stop worrying. It had become over grown and the woman had given them permission to whatever they liked with it. Within reason, obviously.

Guilt felt bitter in her gut, but she knew it was for his own good. He needed to get out more so he could see that nothing would happen, exposure therapy she thought it was called.   
He’d been so anxious after the Apoca-thingy and Lily just wanted him to be able to enjoy himself without being sick with worry.

“Fine.” He said moodily, “But I’ll have you know I’m coming under duress.” He sulked, but Lily perked up at that.  
“Oh, you can wear that lovely black dress.” At Crowley’s unsure look she continued, “Honey, It’s 2019 no one will care what you wear.”  
Aziraphale came back from where he had found the basket they had been using for picnics, “And if they do then they can take a long walk off a short pier.” He kissed the cheek of a shocked but grinning Crowley, then a bright-eyed Lily and opened the front door, “Shall we?”  
Crowley waved his hand, now in a black summer dress; buttons down the centre and thin straps held it all up. The heels might be a problem for kissing purposes, but as long as Crowley was happy that would be fine. She'd just have to find steps, or invest in her own step ladder.  
Crowley placed a black sun hat on his head, Lily noticed the red of lipstick and a little eye shadow before he hid his eyes behind winged sunglasses.

Crowley sank one hand in Aziraphale’s hair and pulled him close as he ravished the angel’s mouth. Aziraphale dropped the basket to pull Crowley even closer by the waist, a small groan escaping him as he did so. Lily rolled her eyes fondly and quickly saved the basket from Crowley’s heels as he stumbled back. They pulled away panting, “I love it when you’re a bastard.” He turned and bent to lick into Lily’s mouth, a hand curled into her hair the other framed her face and she felt her back hit the wall as Crowley continued to steal her breath. Lily held out the basket, Aziraphale took it and Lily reached up to pull Crowley’s sun hat off and pulled lightly at the red curls. Delightedly she realised he had miracle his hair long again, just to his shoulders but it caused her to press closer as she made a sound in the back of her throat.

They pulled away panting, “And I love you, you little temptress.” Crowley smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the nose. Lily laughed as Crowley grinned, stealing his hat back and leading the way out the door with a, “Onward to this market thing.”   
Aziraphale gestured for Lily to go first, but she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her at the smudge of red around the angels mouth. She captured his face in her hands and wiped the mark off, “Thank you dearest.” Aziraphale said and kissed her sweetly to further show his thanks.

A horn sounded as Crowley hung out the window of the driver side. “Lets go before he crawls on the roof to heckle us.” She said. Aziraphale laughed and they were off.

* * *

Lily gave a sniff and revelled in the scent of freshly baked pie’s and the sweet smell of jams that seemed to just waft through the air. There were stalls all over the place with venders shouting out their wares and the bustle of haggling customers. It wasn’t large by any means, but it was a perfect first outing just to see the many colours of the bunting they had tied all around.   
Crowley gave her hand a nervous squeeze and Lily pulled him closer. Aziraphale held Crowley’s other hand, but when he saw a vendor selling books he was off.  
“Zira!” Crowley yelled after the angel. Lily wrapped her arm around his waist and hugged him. She found that when he began panicking it would calm him just to feel a slight pressure somewhere, it helped him focus on here and now.  
“Hey, do you wanna look at the plants?” She asked. Crowley nodded and she pulled him to the stall. He seemed to relax more as he sifted through the little plants, scowling at them as he did. Lily caught the sight of a stall a few feet away, it sold pendants and bracelets and anklets. What had caught her attention was three anklets. One was a simple silver anklet that had a shinny silver pendant, the other two was much the same except one had a lily and the other had a small snake. It was like she had found all three of them in anklet form. She wanted to take a closer look but Crowley…  
“Go.” Lily glanced back at him, but he was still nose deep in packets of seeds, “I’m not a child, I’ll come find you when I’m done.”   
Lily smiled gently at him and kissed his cheek; which Crowley lifted his head in preparation for. “I know Honey, I just worry too.”  
He huffed and pushed her gently towards the stall, but not before he whispered an I love you. Lily grinned, “Love you too. See you in a sec.”

She looked back to see Crowley talk with the vendor, so free and obviously sassing the poor man who was trying to sell Crowley a plant. The demon’s hair curled around his face as the wind ruffled the strands, it reminded her of unpredictable flames. It was inherently him.  
She turned to find Aziraphale animatedly chatting with an old woman, basket on his arm and filled with new books. He turned just so and the fading sun shone a halo around his head, he smiled and Lily smiled too.

This was a good idea. A great idea. Her boys were free and the issues they had been plagued with seemed an ocean away. Well maybe a couple hundred miles but it held the same sentiments. So much had happened and in such a short amount of time, they just needed this slice of quiet to enjoy what they had found together.

It was a good idea. Until…  
“Hello Life.”   
Gabriel.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a reaction. At least, that’s what she would say if anyone asked. No one would, but that would have been her answer if they did. Crowley had taught her about having excuses at hand just in case.

She still remembered the look on her angel’s face when he had been in the midst of his eating issue, how sad and empty he had looked as he stared at a small cake. The way he had almost cried when he took a bite and had to curl up in Crowley’s arms while Lily cleaned up the vomit. He was still recovering; she wasn’t stupid she knew it would take more than a few cuddles to fix what Gabriel had started. He had come so far, even enjoying a few treats now and again like his old self, but he couldn’t truly enjoy himself with Gabriel’s voice in his head. Because she knew. Aziraphale didn’t know she knew, but she and she hated the archangel even more for it.

“Ow!” Gabriel yelled and Lily realised, by the lack of an audience, that he had stopped time. Gabriel patted at his face and seemed surprised when he came away with blood, “You hit me.” Lily readied herself for another swing, but Gabriel stumbled back, “NO! Wait I have a message.”   
Lily lowered her arm, but she didn’t lower her glare, “The fuck is the message.” She asked in the loosest way possible, because it was more of a demand than an ask. But this asshole was the reason her angel cried in relief sometimes when he ate and didn’t feel guilty.  
He straightened his jacket and tried not to cower, “Well, um now you know who you are there are certain responsibilities you need to fulfil.” As he talked, he gained more confidence, but it just reminded her of how he had talked to Aziraphale before the apocalypse that couldn’t happened, or didn’t. “It is your duty to regulate the birth rates, have you seen what’s happened in your absence?”  


Lily rolled her eyes. The birth rates had nothing to do with her, she could encourage it but the humans made their own decisions, it was all part and parcel of giving them free will. The best she had done was bring back a snake species and that was just because she was drunk and Crowley offhandedly said he missed the species. Totally normal thing to do. Right?  
And honestly, unlike Death she didn’t really have to be there for the birth of a human or the pollination of a plant. Her powers were still waking up from disuse, so she wasn’t the best at using the powers she hadn’t worked out over the 6000 years she’d been on earth.   
“Look, Gabriel. I hate you and want this interaction to end pronto, so I’ll say this once. I owe you nothing. Me and my boyfriends,” it sounded weird to call Crowley and Aziraphale her boyfriends, but that was what they were. Husbands sounded better, but that was maybe a step too far in what was essentially an early relationship. Despite the 6000 years.  
Lily shook her head and continued, “Me and my boyfriends are retired, neither I or either of them will be doing anything for either side. Got it? Good.” She turned back to pretend to look at the wares. She heard shuffling behind her, time hadn’t resumed, and she was growing impatient. She had a picnic planned dammit. She’d picked out the stuff from the stalls. Cakes and sandwiches for Aziraphale, mint tea for herself with sausage rolls and some fruit for Crowley. She smiled remembering that though Crowley didn’t eat much he did enjoy a little fruit. Oh, and wine for them.

Gabriel coughed, Lily ignored. “Fine. If that’s’ your answer…” He seemed to be at a loss for words, “You will have to make a decision at some point. You need to learn how to control your abilities and we are the only option you have.”  
Lily snorted, yeah right. Death was better at helping her than those assclowns, but she wasn’t going to tell them that in case Death got in trouble with them. Though, Death didn’t really have to report to them.

Gabriel finally got the hint and Lily relaxed as the sounds of the market continuing on as if a dickhead Archangel hadn’t just dropped by. This was bad though, she hadn’t expected the offer so soon, thought she had more time with her boys. There was no way she was going to work _with_ heaven and certainly wasn’t going to work _for_ them.  
They had picked up the slack from her disappearance and she was certain a few angels would be out of a job if she did go back to taking care of the births. But this visit meant they wouldn’t leave her be and if she didn’t give them the answer they wanted then heaven would find a way to destroy her. It would be easier now they knew who she was.

A hand sliding into her own caused her to jump, “You ok flower?” Crowley asked as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. Lily leaned into him and soaked up the love he radiated. He was calm, calmer than he had been in London and Lily loathed to take that sense of peace away.  
She could handle this, at least until their holiday was over. All she had to do was ask for a deadline and heaven would have to back off, right? That’s how their stupid system worked up there.  
Crowley squeezed at her hand, “I’m fine. Just… I love you.” She said, needing him to know that right then. Crowley smiled and kissed her.  
“Love you too.” He gently wiped at the red around her mouth, “Come on, I think Aziraphale bought a whole stall of food.” She glanced behind him to find Aziraphale juggling with all the bags hung on his arms. Lily gave one last squeeze to Crowley’s hand then wrestled some bags from their angel.  
“Thank you, my dear. I was hoping we could have a picnic.” Aziraphale said brightly as he passed a few bags to Crowley, who groaned at how much the angel had bought but dutifully carried them to the car.  
“I was thinking the same thing. Where did you have in mind?” Lily asked as she piled her own bags into the Bentley. Crowley wrapped his arms around her and pulled her away so Aziraphale could deposit his own bags and so Crowley could plant a red stained kiss to her neck.  
Crowley beamed at the red splotch and pulled Aziraphale close enough to give him one on the cheek.

“I have a place in mind.” He said once he released them both and with a sly smirk slipped into the driver seat.

* * *

It was all very lovely. Crowley had driven them to a field not far away, to most this would seem like a stupid place to bring the loves of your life, but Crowley knew the loves of his life better than anyone. He had remembered Lily’s fondness for his plants and the wild flower that grew around them fascinated Aziraphale as the leaves reached out to tickle him.   
Lily was delighted to find a tartan blanket set down, obviously from Aziraphale, and with a dramatic bow from Crowley the food appeared on the blanket ready for consumption.

That was why Lily had forgotten all about the Gabriel incident by the time the sun had set low enough for them to consider leaving. But the moment was so beautiful she couldn’t disrupt it. She lay with her head in Aziraphale’s lap, staring at how her angel plucked at a cherry Bakewell and fed her the cherry with a smile then ate the cake with such happiness. One of his hands folded between her own on her chest, his thumb rubbed absently at her hand.  
Beside him Crowley sat with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth as skilled fingers constructed a flower crown. Aziraphale had been the first gifted with a crown made from the flowers around them, now he was working on Lily’s crown.

“This was a wonderful idea, love.” Aziraphale said as he fed her another cherry. Behind her Crowley gave a cry of triumph and Lily sat up to accept the crown. “Now my prince and princess have their crowns.” Crowley giggled as he bowed to them. Aziraphale blushed, but Lily played along.  
“And what would you give your Princess?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, her back straight to give the air of a royal upbringing. Crowley pulled his glasses off as the stars began to twinkle, the gold in his eyes made them look like stars. Lily lost her breath.  
“I would do anything for you. Anything for both of you.”  
Aziraphale gave a sniffle and both Lily and Crowley turned to find their angel crying. No, this was a happy occasion why was her angel crying? Wait he was smiling at them as he cried.

“I…I’m just very…very h-happy.” He sniffed and covered his face, “I’m sor-sorry my dears. I ju-just love you both so… so dearly.” Crowley laughed in relief and pulled Aziraphale’s hands away to give the teary angel a kiss to his forehead, then giggled when Aziraphale gave a little laugh. Maybe the wine wasn’t a good idea seeing as they had hardly had any and her boys were already giggly and emotional. But hey, they were on holiday.  
Lily turned her face into a cool breeze, happy that nothing had truly upset Aziraphale. The poor dear needed a break from the upsetting thoughts now and then, they all did.

The happy bubble she had been in deflated as she thought of Gabriel again. Suddenly there was a hand on her arm and her green eyes met with sapphire blue, “Are you ok dear? It’s just… well we lost you for a second.”  
“Yeah, whatever you were thinking about didn’t look fun.” Crowley pulled at her hand as he stood, bringing her with him and laid his hands on her waist, “We’re on holiday.” He snapped and the Bentley played the radio as if it were beside then, rather than a few feet away tucked safely behind a tree. Aziraphale stood behind her, a wave from him and the food had disappeared.  
“Dance with us?” Aziraphale asked shyly. As if she’d ever say no to them. At her nod they began to sway as Freddie crooned to them.

With her head laid on Crowley’s chest and Aziraphale pressing small kisses to her shoulders, she allowed her boys to pull her from her troubles.

She relaxed, swaying to the lyrics of ‘Love of my life’ as moonlight spilled on them like a spotlight.

When they had gotten back to the cottage, kissing and giggling like teenagers, they had settled into bed and Aziraphale read them until Crowley had fallen asleep. Aziraphale didn’t usually sleep, but Crowley and Lily had convinced him of it’s merits, so soon after he too drifted off. But Lily couldn’t. There was just so much running through her mind, all the what if’s. What if they couldn’t hurt her but hurt her boys? What if heaven wasn’t the only threat here? What if her boys found out and they decided to help, but got themselves killed? What if this stress just destroyed all the progress Aziraphale and Crowley had made?

Lily sighed as she slipped from the bed. Crowley grumbled half asleep and slithered closer to Aziraphale so he could hug the angel from behind while pressing his face against his throat.  
She smiled at them, but that burning pit of anxiety soured the image.  
Gabriel wasn’t right about anything, except the decision part. She needed to decide what to do about heaven’s interest in her, if they didn’t have an answer then they were likely to try and destroy her. What heaven couldn’t control they tried to destroy. That much had been clear over the course of the apocalypse that couldn’t and it was only a matter of time before they found something that could kill her.

And what if they went after Aziraphale and Crowley? Her stomach clenched, she wouldn’t survive that.

She needed to speak with Death.


	3. Snappy snakes and morning pancakes

The chilly early morning air had caused her to ‘borrow’ some of her beloveds cloths, she could very easily miracle some but she loved the feeling of closeness it gave her. She had seen many human couples do this and, until now, had not understood the appeal even though she had been wearing the majority of Crowley and Aziraphale’s cast offs for centuries.  
But it felt right after all, Aziraphale’s light brown trousers were the right length in leg, but not in waist. That problem was solved by the addition of Crowley’s snake belt, though the scrunched-up waist reminded her of one of those draw-string bags Jewellers were fond of. She’d taken one of Crowley’s black T shirts and, upon opening the front door to find the early morning chill, ducked back in to swipe Aziraphale’s vest. Over the top she wore her own leather jacket, which technically wasn’t even her to begin with, and her own black shoes.

She looked ridiculous.   
Like some fashion Frankenstein’s monster (Who hilariously was called Adam). But it made her feel safer and as if she hadn’t left her loves back in their bed, sound asleep as if they hadn’t a care. And they shouldn’t, she thought with conviction, they should be able to enjoy this time together without having Lily’s problems overshadowing it.  
She rubbed at her eyes and sighed. But it was exhausting, the truth always wanted to escape her and she found herself wrestling her self-control with promises of after. After this, after she had memories to take with her when she finally made her decision.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Death sat on the fence she had been leant against. They had met in a field, just a random field with no other features except the one apple tree that stood strong and proud in front of them. Oddly ironic that many of their encounters involved trees, or more specifically apple trees.   
Death stared out at the still darkened sky, the stars slowly dimming as the sun turned the sky shades of orange, red and yellow. Crowley’s colours.  
Lily smiled, it was easier than she thought to call on Death seeing as he actually had a phone. But, like Aziraphale, he wasn’t very good with it and Lily had to talk him through hanging up.

“I’d give it for free.” She chuckled and hoped up to balance on the fence beside him, “Gabriel visited me yesterday.” She started, Death looked at her and tilted his head for her to continue. Lily quickly looked back to the scenery, it was easier than looking at Death’s patient body language and helped her order her thoughts, “Heaven has come already. They want me to work for them.”  
“No.”   
She whipped her head round, “What?” she asked. What did no even mean, no she shouldn’t? no they haven’t, and it was a hallucination? Honestly would it kill the guy to be a little more specific or was he just a drama queen?  
Death shrugged, “I am technically an archangel to them, they would have had to call a meeting and I was not invited to one. They’re too busy keeping disgruntled angels in check.” Lily got the impression Death was trying to smile at her, but it was hard to tell because… well he didn’t have the facial muscles. But she did relax a bit.   
“So what your saying is that Gabriel is working on his own. But why?” It didn’t make sense. Gabriel wasn’t that stupid; well he did once walk into Zira’s locked door. Having assumed the place would open for him as everything else seemed to, but Crowley had purposely locked it behind him, and Lily had taken up vigilance outside to witness the outcome.  
It was more than worth it. She just regretted the fact that it was mid Victoria’s reign and the invention of smart phones hadn’t been thought of yet.

“Perhaps he thinks heaven will forgive him if he has you on side. They weren’t impressed with the apocalypse fiasco.” Death raised a bony hand to shield his face from the morning rays, “I wouldn’t worry, little one. You have a while before they officially ask but be warned they will officially ask.”  
That was fine. As long as she had more time with her boys and to figure out how they would ready the earth for an attack from above and below. That was still hanging over them and Lily had no clue as to how they could save the earth on their own. Death wouldn’t help, he had decided to be impartial to either side and just do his job.

“I still feel like he’s planning something. But thanks, see you later.” Lily hoped off the fence and hugged the bony skeletal figure. Death coughed, obviously embarrassed, and patted her head.  
“Take care, Little one.”

* * *

Lily walked back to the cottage; a weight had lifted from her shoulders but the feeling of expectation was still there. Gabriel couldn’t have just wanted to drop in and try to gain another feather in his hat, or rather feather in his wing? No, he may be stupid, but he was also a soldier and strategizer. He had a plan, even if she didn’t know what it was.

She took a breath and tried to forget about Gabriel and the potential plan he may or may not be plotting. Right now all she wanted to do was spend the day doing nothing with her boys.  
She opened the door and was not expecting the icy blast of emotional energy to almost knock her over.

Aziraphale sat in the armchair, book in hand and tea that _had_ been hot but now sat solid as rock in the cup. Lily shivered as she tried to creep in.  
“You didn’t leave a note.” Aziraphale said casually, not looking up from his book. When Lily didn’t say anything he did look up. Something passed across his face at the sight of her in the mismatched clothes before he shut it down, “We thought something had happened to you. It wasn’t until we felt your presence that Crowley stopped shaking.” He scolded her with a wobble in his voice.  
She hadn’t meant to hurt them, she had forgotten that she couldn’t just leave without telling them anymore. Not after all that had happened.

She fell to the floor in front of her angel, on her knees and begging forgiveness. “I’m sorry, I forgot, and I didn’t think I’d be that long.” She took his hands in hers, to her relief he squeezed them and let out a sigh. He wasn’t angry, she realised, he had been scared. Terrified she had been captured or that she had changed her mind and ran, she didn’t know which, but he had thought she was gone for good. “My dear, I know you are capable but I… we worry. Please, if you need to get some air or anything like that, just tell one of us, or write a note.” He cupped her face in his hand and she leant into it. She was so stupid sometimes.  
“And our pretty snake?” She asked hesitantly, “How is he?”  
Aziraphale made a noise that might have been a laugh, “Out in the garden. I tried to talk to him but he’s…” he glanced towards the back door, “Well, you’ll see.” Lily nodded and gave him an apologetic kiss to the cheek, he smiled and kept hold of her hand until she stood and made her way to the back door.

* * *

Everything in the garden was perfect.   
This was bad.  
She was in so much trouble.

When they had arrived the garden was a mess of flowers tangling and reaching out from their flower beds around the perimeter. The strawberry and blackberry plants at the bottom of the garden had all but given up on producing anything, rosebushes strangled the arch that separated front from the back of the garden where two steps lead to the bottom section of the garden. Grass grew so high that Lily had almost thought it was a jungle and the water fountain in the middle had been swallowed by honeysuckle.

None of that was here now. Everything was in its place, with a few new addition and a tense Crowley watering the angel trumpets he had bought at the market. Lily took a second to drink him in. The sun shone down on his hair, alight with all the different shades of red. He had half his hair down and the rest was braided to keep out of his face, though a few strands rebelled and fluttered in the breeze. He’d taken to wearing a dress again, this one was also black except for the small white sunflowers that dotted all over the garment and waved leisurely around his legs.   
He was a marvel.  
He was also extremely pissed at her right now.

“Stop staring.”  
Lily jolted at being caught. Crowley threw the watering can onto the grass with a growl, he turned and Lily was caught off guard at his uncovered eyes. He never went outside without his glasses.  
“What’s going on? You’ve been distracted since yesterday, and I know Gabriel showed up so don’t you dare lie to me. I could smell the fucker all over you.” He gestured to her right hand where a bruise had been just yesterday before she realised and healed it. “Are they threatening you, cause if they are we’ll sort it, right. Our side remember?” he was breathing hard and yelling at her as he gestured wildly at the sky as he spoke of heaven.  


“I remember. You think I’d forget us? Just like that? Do you think I’m what? Colluding with them?” She screamed, how dare he insinuate she’d forget about their side. Crowley seemed to deflate, but he refused to stop being angry.  
“Well, what is it then? “ he shrugged angrily, “You seeing Gabriel too, huh?”  
Lily blinked, floored for a second by the accusation. “The fuck would I want him for!” she stepped closer incensed by the accusation, “If you must know, I punched that fucker in the face. And I’d do it again after all he’s done.”  
Crowley licked his lips, “You what?” Lily was so angry she hadn’t noticed the change in atmosphere.   
“I fucking punched him. He made me think heaven wanted me to work for them, but I did some digging and found out he was full of shit. If you think I’d want that purple eyed prick then you don’t know me at all. I love you and Zira because you are nothing like the rest of heaven and hell, so why would I want their model archdick?” Lily panted, anger finally out but still simmering in her gut.   
Crowley stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist, Lily frowned in confusion. The fuck was he doing now? After the accusations he made. But he didn’t seem angry anymore, maybe a bit shy, but not angry.  
He bent to rest his forehead on hers, “Sorry.” He Whispered, “I’m sorry, I just… I was scared and it’s easier to be angry…I…Sorry.”   
Lily closed her eyes and as she breathed out the simmering quietened down. She knew him so really; she should have known this would be his reaction. He cupped her cheek in his hand and swiped a thumb under her eye, “Do you love me?”   
Oh Crowley. Her heart ached for him.  
He seemed scared at the answer she might give. Lily wished he could feel her love like Aziraphale and she could, maybe then he’d stop thinking they could possibly stop loving him. It would certainly take more than an argument to make her stop loving him.  
She wanted to pull her heart from her chest just so he could see his name written there, right next to Aziraphale’s, but she settled to instead say, “Always and forever, no matter how mad I am, I’ll always love you.” She opened her eyes and smiled sadly at him. His smile seemed to make the bright garden all the brighter as he began playing with the hair that had fallen onto the hand cupping her face.  
“Did he bleed?” He asked, breath ghosting against her lips.  
Lily smiled, of course he’d ask that, “I think he was more surprised at the blood than he as of me hitting him.” She admitted. Crowley fisted her hair as he growled, “Good.” And then he was kissing her to hard she saw stars. His teeth nibbled at her lips and his tongue invaded her mouth when she gasped. He pulled away for a second, “I bet you looked glorious.” He kissed her again, “Looking like you did in hell, all powerful and..” he groaned and attacked her mouth again, each groan swallowed by his mouth and tongue and teeth.

Finally, he pulled away enough to gulp down lungful’s of air, Crowley didn’t need it but she did. Her head spun from the different emotions she had cycled through and the kiss Crowley had almost suffocated her with. She could still feel her lips tingling form it.  
He laughed suddenly and pulled her by the hand to the back door, “I think we should tell Zira.” He said and pulled her through the cottage, but they found a smiling Aziraphale in the kitchen near the window. He looked relieved they had sorted everything out.  
Crowley grinned, “She punched Gabriel.” Aziraphale opened his mouth, closed it again and licked his lips, “Made him bleed.” The demon continued with delight. Aziraphale bit at his lips but Lily could see the corners of his mouth turn up.  
“I honestly don’t know what to say.” The angel said looking away as Crowley let go of Lily’s hand and wandered over to the cupboards. “Crowley, dearest, What are you doing?” he asked the demon who was now riffling through the dry ingredients.  
“If you’re thinking of cooking you have another thing coming.” Lily told him as she pulled a pan out of his grasp and laid it on the counter only to have to pull a measuring cup from him in the next breath. She looked to Aziraphale for help, the angel just looked at the ingredients.   
“You do recall when you tried to make me a cake dear? You set fire to yourself.” He said shaking his head. That had been an ordeal, Lily had come home to find Aziraphale applying ointment to Crowley’s arm. Her poor snake had been extra clingy after, not that she and Aziraphale minded.

Crowley made a face, “Nah, I think her punishment should be to make us pancakes.” He turned to boop Aziraphale’s nose, the angel smiled involuntarily at the cute gesture, soon Crowley followed up with a kiss to his nose. Lily gave them an adoring smile and, resigned to her fate, began taking out the correct ingredients for pancakes. When her demon refused to move from the kitchen, she softly shoved him from the kitchen with a lit swap to his butt.   
He wiggled his eyebrows as he sauntered to the sofa, all the while grinning salaciously, and began watching TV. Aziraphale ended up on the sofa with him with the demon’s head in his lap and long strand between his finger as he undid and re-braided the braid. The morning passes in this comfortable silence as she serves the pancakes, which predictably only Aziraphale eats, and they lounge around the cottage until after lunch; where Crowley had slithered off to tend to the garden once again.

It was the peace she had hoped for, even with Gabriel hanging over her head.   
Perhaps she was just being paranoid, and Death was right about Gabriel and heaven, maybe they did have more time and maybe she should take her boys swimming.   
Aziraphale smiled as he turned a page, hand falling back to gently pet Lily’s hair. Yeah, would be fun to see which era swimming cloths he wore.  
She smiled. Swimming sounded fun.


	4. Falling

“No!” Crowley yelled as Lily tried to pull him from the beach towel he had been lounging on. Having a demon lover that drove like…well a demon, had it’s perks as they had arrived at the nearest beach before any other soul had dared brave the morning. Immediately Crowley had decided the beach was where he was staying and no amounts of tempting had convinced the demon to take a dip with them. Aziraphale had been no help, in his full body bathing suit she was pretty sure had been around during Victoria’s reign, he had simply waded into the water and stood there as if he didn’t know what to do. While Crowley had disappointingly gone back to wearing his usual black jeans and black everything else, he still kept the long hair. She suspected it was because she and Aziraphale liked to braid parts of it and Aziraphale had a fascination with touching his hair.  
Now, however, he was stubbornly wearing the clothes to annoy… well someone would be annoyed at him wearing inappropriate beaching clothes, Lily wasn’t. She knew he was sulking. You see Crowley hated boats and, as Crowley logic dictates, that meant he hated anything to do with the sea, or water in general. Showers and baths were fine, but not the ocean.  
Honestly it was enough he had agreed to come with them, but Lily had to keep up the pretence that Crowley was a wily demon, didn’t she? Sometimes she could see Crowley shift when given a compliment. He liked it, she knew that, but sometimes he liked to act like a brat just to solidify his status as that wily demon who seduced an angel of the eastern gate and Life herself. So that left her rolling her eyes and playing along.

Crowley, finally and with a cheating miracle, gained the upper hand. Lily came crashing down on top of him and the ‘wily demon’ grinned as he trapped her in his arms. “Oh no, looks like you have to stay here too.” He said as he nuzzled her neck. Lily huffed and wiggled out from under his arms, much to the demon’s dismay, and found the t shirt she had been wearing over her swimming suite was still clutched in Crowley’s arms. He laughed as Lily poked her tongue out at him and ran to teach Aziraphale how to have fun that didn’t involve a book.

  
Oh, how she loved the sea. It was one of those unpredictable things that had enticed her into travelling. She’d been so enamoured with the sea and the concept of pirates at the time that she would often haunt the docks of Plymouth, when pirating was all the rage. At the time Plymouth had been the place to go if you fancied a life of piracy and, Lily being the try anything once type, decided piracy sounded like a fun adventure. It had taken her several months to spot a ship she liked the feel of and wrangle together a crew, then she had been gone for a good portion of that decade.

Aziraphale looked around at the water, but he didn’t seem as relaxed as he had been for the last two days. She had suspected he was worrying about Gabriel and she was too. It was hard to figure heaven and hell out sometimes, one day this would be the right thing to do then the next it was that thing. She’d never envied her boys for that, maybe the fact they seemed to know where they belonged, but not for having superiors who changed the rules on a whim.  
The angel touched her arm gently to attract her attention from the horizon and her troubled thoughts, “Dear, are you sure heaven isn’t planning anything for you?” he was worrying again, brows furrowed and mouth slightly down turned. Before, when Armageddon was approaching, she would have told them everything. But they were only just recovering from all that had happened, and she could handle this. Right? Just for a little while. Just until she was sure of their mental states.

She took his hand and squeezed it, “Not for the moment.” She stepped close enough to lean her forehead against his and felt him relax as he closed his eyes, “Besides, we’re on our own side and they’d have to get through my boys.” Aziraphale hummed in agreement.  
“I would die before I would allow a single feather or claw to touch you.”  
Please don’t, she thought. She wouldn’t be able to live if that happened, had already gone through the loss before and knows she would lose herself to the pain and fury of it. Nothing would be left standing by the end, or maybe she wouldn’t be left standing.  
She cupped his face in her hand, “Please don’t say that. Please. Promise you would try to survive, no self-sacrifices, please.” Panic had crept up through her throat, the imagined heat of a burning bookshop licked at her back. Images of a puddle of burning evil, one she had thought to be Crowley, flashed past her eyes. She would not survive their deaths.  
And neither would anyone else.

“My dear.” Aziraphale grasped her face gently and she opened her eyes. His face blurred as she realised, she was crying. Great, so much for not worrying them. “I promise, my dear, that I shall use everything in my power to get back to you and Crowley.” He smiled before adding, “Safely, of course.” Lily laughed, was more of a release of tension but Aziraphale smiled and everything seemed worth it for this, for them.  
They stood for a while in the freezing English waters, they’d be shivering if it wasn’t for the fact they were both occult beings… oh, she meant ethereal beings. Or was she just a supernatural being? No she was life, so would that make her a natural being?

“I’m sorry my dear.” Aziraphale’s voice knocked her out of what could have been an existential crisis. “I’m not one for the water, perhaps I could keep Crowley company?” They both looked to find Crowley splayed out on his towel, beach umbrella stuck at a weird angle in the sand and the picnic basket they had brought beside him. Was he? Sunning himself?  
Lily shook her head at her pretty snake, “it’s fine, Zira.” She smiled had him, she should’ve known her boys wouldn’t enjoy the beach. She shrugged, “You never were one for the sea. I’m gonna swim out for a bit, you keep our snake from getting into trouble.” Not that Crowley looked like he’d be any trouble, he just looked like he was soaking up the sun and sleeping.  
Aziraphale gave her hand a squeeze, “Come back in for lunch, my dear, perhaps after we can go for a walk.” He said excitedly, doing that little wiggle he does when he’s happy. Lily laughed as she pushed him a little in the direction of the beach, with an adoring “Sure.” As he left.

“This is awful, why do humans insist on getting wet.”  
Lily jumped and, upon seeing her least favourite angel, promptly began swimming in the opposite direction. She did not want to talk to Gabriel again.   
However, she found a pair of sensible shoes keep pace with her head. What?  
Looking up she found the archangel smiling as he stood on the waves. He was pulling a Jesus and walking on the water. “Oh that is better, no more wetness.” Gabriel clapped his hands together as he stared down at her, his cloths drying in an instant, “So, what have you decided?” He seemed too pleased with himself, as if he expected the answer to be in his favour.  
Lily bobbed in the water, all the while smiling at him, “I know your game.” She said, and that wiped the smile off his face, “I know heaven didn’t send you. They don’t want me yet, so why are you really here? To what? Have something to brag about?”

Gabriel shuffled and blinked rapidly like no human could ever blink. He seemed to be having a fit of some kind. Honestly, it was quite entertaining if she was being honest.  
“I don’t… I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m the Archangel Gabriel, do you think I would have any other reason to talk to the likes of you.”  
Lily grinned, having ruffled him enough to stutter, and by the speech the angel doth protest too much. “What do you want?”  
Gabriel shuffled on the water causing little ripples to lap against her skin. He opened his mouth and closed it. It seemed he wasn’t adapt at lying and creativity wasn’t exactly his forte, so coming up with another lie seemed to have short circuited what he called a brain.

“Well if – hey!” She yelled when Gabriel hauled her up by her armpits and set her on the water beside him. She stumbled as she pushed the creep away, shuddering at feeling of an archangel’s light trying to wrap around her form. “What the fuck!”  
“Show me your wings. I know you have them.” Gabriel said as he regained his balance. Ass hole! She wasn’t showing him her wings if he were the last being in the universe, would rather cut the wings off then let him see them.  
She wobbled and turned to the beach, where she found her boys watching from the sands, she gave them a thumbs up and tried to walk towards them on the water. Before she could do so arms wrapped round her middle and she was hoisted up into the sky.

Lily twisted and turned as the archangel flew higher, the ground further and further away as she became sicker. She couldn’t fly yet. If he let her go then that was the end for her, she would die.  
“Gabriel you fucker, let me go.” She twisted enough to face him and screamed in frustration at the grin he gave her. With a chuckle he said, “You need to pick your words carefully.” And with that she felt his arms leave her. Her stomach dropped and heard two voices yelling at her.  
In a last-ditch effort her wings sprung from her shoulder, caught a draft and slowed; but with her lack of experience she couldn’t keep it up. She was still dropping.  
The beach rose up to meet her. Lily closed her eyes ad she thought of her poor boys and how sad they’d be, but at least they had each other.  
All at once her centre of gravity tipped and she jolted mid-air. She felt long fingers wrapped around her ankle and as she looked up all she could see against the sun was a black mass. “Come on Flower, some help would be nice.” It was Crowley, the black mass was Crowley. His hair whipped around his head as he tried to haul Lily up by her ankle.  
“Hey, reach down with your other hand.” Lily said as she bent herself to reach for him, mid air crunched were not the easiest on her stomach muscles. But it worked, Crowley managed to grasp her hand and let go of her ankle as he yanked her up. Lily squealed and quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, her wings flapped uselessly behind her.

Crowley pressed his face into her neck as he stroked her hair, “You’re ok, you’re ok.” He repeated quietly as his breathing slowed. Suddenly he pulled his head back, “I need to set you down somewhere, Our Angel needs help.” He looked jerkily around, Lily could feel the panic in the tense set of everything.   
“Where is he?” Lily needed to know. Crowley looked up above them where she could see the two angels, metal glinted in the light. Gabriel gave a strong stroke of his wings and a gust knocked Aziraphale back enough that Lily could shout to him. “Zira! Remember what you promised!” She caught his eye. The fire and anger she saw in them took her breath. A light emanated from him, just a trace of his holy form but enough to send shafts of gold through his platinum hair, each curl caught in the wind that three sets of wings caused. Even in his blue and white stripped bathing suit he looked ever part an angelic warrior.  
The sword caught her off guard though, it’s hilt encased in a copper snake whose head settled between the golden wings of the guard; flowers and vines delicately engraved the blade of the sword.

Aziraphale nodded, though he didn’t seem happy, and snapped his fingers.  
The soft sheets of the cottage alerted her to the change and she took in a breath as Crowley crawled over her to wrap himself around her and Aziraphale. She could feel his heart beating fast against her own chest as he pressed his face into Aziraphale’s chest. She was pretty squished against Aziraphale, who was on her left, but she couldn’t begrudge her pretty snake.

Too soon Crowley was up again, frantic as he miracled chalk and began writing protection sigils on the bedroom doorway.  
“They’re here, it’s happening. Shouldn’t have come, should’ve stayed at the bookshop. Can’t take you, won’t let them. They’ll have to kill me first.” Crowley snarled, his breathing hadn’t slowed and seemed to be getting steadily faster. Both angel and demon had pulled their wings in at this point, so Aziraphale moved to take the demons hands in his. The angel pressed his forehead to Crowley’s, “Breath, love.”  
“Breath.” Crowley hissed, “How can I breathe when heaven has just declared war on us. Our flower was almost a pancake!” he gasped for breath and dropped to the floor. Aziraphale followed him and gently rocked him on the floor. Lily, finally recovering from her own shock, went to them and held Crowley’s hand. It shook in her grip and she didn’t know if it was from fear or anger, knowing Crowley it was probably both.  
“Crowley, dearest.” Lily whispered to him, he looked up from where his face had been hidden in Aziraphale’s chest, “Heaven hasn’t declared anything. I think he’s working on his own, I don’t know what he wants but I’ll find out.” She promised, hoping it would calm him.  
It did not calm him. If anything, he became even more panicked, “No, stay here. I’ll make it safe.” He tried to pick up the chalk from where it had fallen on the floor, but Lily’s hand in his made it difficult. He glanced at her hand and the chalk, a frown marred his face.  
Lily squeezed his hand tighter as his breathing calmed and the shaking stopped, “We can fix this. We can figure out what Gabriel –“  
“I’ll tear his wings off. See if he can drop people then.” Crowley snarled, but he seemed less panicked when he said it.

“Crowley, dear one.” Aziraphale kissed his forehead, “The sigils are already impenetrable, lets rest and then we can decide our next move.”  
“My move is to kill the bastard.”  
Aziraphale hushed him, “I know, but lets calm down. We need to make sure Lily is ok.” Aziraphale knew how to play him. They were lucky Aziraphale was on their side or they’d be fucked, and not it the fun way.  
Crowley’s eyes flickered to Lily and she smiled at him as he pulled her to him and began to check her. Over their demons head she mouthed a thank you to Aziraphale, she wouldn’t have been able to calm him without the angel. Aziraphale nodded and gave a tight-lipped smile.

Lily felt a dull ach in her left wing and found, when Crowley pulled the wing gently to check, a handful of feathers missing.  
Weird.  
Crowley sighed and he pressed his forehead to hers, “Hope you know you’re going nowhere anytime soon.” Lily smiled and gently kissed his cheek, she was fine with that. She didn’t feel like going out anyway.


	5. A loving embrace

Lily woke to a soft kiss on her forehead.   
Sleepily she stretched and found the soft planes of her angel as he shifted beside her on the bed. Soft hair brushed against her chin and she opened one sleepy eye to investigate. There was her demon, laying on her chest and tucked neatly under her chin; his hand fiddled with the ends of his glorious red hair. She smiled, finally opening both eyes and reached down to softly card her hands through Crowley’s hair herself, he shifted enough to look at her with soft golden eyes and smiled.  
“Hi.” He whispered as Aziraphale settled his head on Lily’s chest on the other side of her.  
“Hi.” She whispered back. No one spoke for a while, so she looked at the clock. Fuck, 3 in the afternoon? They had slept for most of the day, or she had, and neither of her boys had woken her.  
Everything was such a mess. With Gabriel and everything to do with this stupid trip, she should never have suggested it. Aziraphale could have died! Going up against an Archangel was no joke and he could have been destroyed. And what if Crowley hadn’t caught her?   
She sucked a deep breath in. Now was not the time for her to panic, Crowley had already done enough for the three of them, she just needed to come up with a plan. It would be fine as long as she could come up with something.

Crowley nudged her chin with his nose, seeming to sense her mood shift from calm and content to fearful and stressed, “You good? “ Lily nodded, not trusting her voice just yet. Aziraphale kissed the skin closest to him, which happened to be her collar bone, and Lily felt his angelic being brush against her in an attempt to calm her. It felt infinitely better than Gabriel’s, she shivered at the memory and wished she could take a long bath in bleach.  
Actually, a bath didn’t sound half bad. There was a nice bathroom further down the corridor from their room, if only she could convince her boys to move.

Aziraphale caught her shifting and gave a low chuckle, “Something wrong dear?” he traced patterns on her stomach next to where Crowley’s other hand rested. Crowley smiled at her softly, nuzzling under her jaw gently before setting a kiss there. Lily shifted again.  
“As much as I want to stay here with you two,” she said before placing a peck on Crowley’s lips, “I feel a bit icky, think I’ll have a bath.”  
Surprisingly it wasn’t Crowley who gave a whine in protest, but Aziraphale, who then wrapped himself tighter around her. She gave a laugh as she tried to wriggle out from under both of them, Crowley groaned until Lily said, “I want to wash the stench of Gabriel off me.” Then he was up and out the bedroom door. She sat up at the sound of the taps from the bath blasting at full, Aziraphale had slid so his head was in her lap and the temptation was too strong to resist, absently she carded her hands through his hair, “You joining me?”  
Aziraphale caught her eye. Fear, love and concern flitted through those wonderful sapphires as he nodded. Lily understood, she had almost been taken from them and they wanted to stay as close as possible after the scare. She wasn’t opposed. She enjoyed her time with her boys and if they needed to be close for a while then she wouldn’t object to it.

Crowley came sauntering through the door, shirt already abandoned somewhere between the bathroom and the bedroom, a sly smile on his handsome face. Aziraphale slid from the bed and kissed him gently on his way out of the bedroom, Crowley turned back to Lily. “What are you doing?” she asked suspiciously as Crowley advanced on her.  
“What? You wanted a bath.” He replied before he scooped her up in his arms. Lily squeaked and instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck so as not to fall, he gave a hum of contentment as he swept her from the bedroom and towards the bathroom where she found a large circular tub replaced the old tiny one.   
Steam cloaked everything, but she could make out Aziraphale as he lay head tipped back against the rim of the tub, a small smile relaxed on his face. Purple petals floated lazily beside him and the sweet smell of lavender and roses reminded her of Eden, reminded her of summers in Rome when Crowley had insisted they take a vacation day. That day they had walked through the market where tulips, roses and Lilies were sold while the humans bartered for fresh bread. Aziraphale had joined them at some point, by accident he assured them, bringing with him a Lily that he braided into her hair. She smiled at the memory, she said nothing as Crowley manually removed her clothes with gentle touches and soft kisses to her cheek, neck and shoulders.

Lily jumped when she felt a kiss placed on her naked hip, looking down she caught the loving smile of their angel as he retreated into the bath. His thumb stroking at her skin and pulling her closer until she was forced to lift her legs and enter the water with him. Behind her Crowley followed as if he were a moth and she were the flame he so desperately needed to warm himself, as if he’d die if they were not connected in some way. Even as she lay chest to chest with Aziraphale, her cheek pressed against the ange’ls shoulder, Crowley sank behind her and pressed kisses from her shoulders to her forehead before kissing Aziraphale.

They were being so kind, so gentle. Treating her as if she were precious, taking care of her after she almost died and the whole time, she had been keeping things from them. She didn’t deserve this. They should be demanding answers from her, shouting at her, being angry but…they weren’t. There was no anger here, no negative emotions, just love.   
She knew she was crying before her angel wiped the tears for her. Couldn’t stand the concerned looks they directed at her so she pressed her face into Aziraphale’s shoulder, supressing a sob as two different hands rubbed at her back with such affection, she couldn’t hold on anymore.   
“I’m sorry.” She sobbed, and she told them everything.  
She told them about death and her friendship. Told them about Heaven soon wanting her and how Gabriel had tried to trick her. Told them about her suspicions of Gabriel’s motives.

They just listened. Crowley didn’t get angry and didn’t blame her for the beach incident, if anything they looked guilty themselves.  
“I’m sorry, my dear.” Aziraphale said at last as Lily’s sobs quietened and the bath began to cool. Lily finally peaked at them, confusion on her face. “I’m sorry we made you feel like you had to keep this from us.” The angel kissed her hair, completely missing the utter state of bewilderment Lily found herself in. She couldn’t understand why he was sorry, she should be sorry, she was the one who kept things from them.   
Thankfully they had Crowley, who was more perceptive than people gave him credit for, who took her hand in his, “We made you feel like your problems weren’t ours-“  
“Which they are.” Aziraphale broke in.  
“Flower, you only tried to protect us and didn’t tell us because we were dealing with things. But honey,” Crowley cupped her cheek, Lily leant into it revealing more of her face to them, “We’ve managed to deal with our problems as a team. If it wasn’t for you two…” he shook his head as if banishing the dark thoughts, “You’ve been there for us, let us be there for you.”  
Lily breathed in the scent of flowers and the familiar smell of her loves. She couldn’t believe she had these two, with how good to her they were.

“I love you, both of you so much.” Lily hugged Crowley. He stroked her hair and clicked his finger, instantly the water warmed, and the room steamed again. Aziraphale leant his chin on her free shoulder, “Let us take care of you.” He whispered. At her nod Lily found her limbs manipulated until she was between then. Crowley’s longer finger uncapped a shampoo bottle and massaged the glob of Apple scented chemicals into her hair. Each muscle in her body relaxed as she trusted her beloveds to take care of her, moaning every so often as Crowley traded hair washing with Aziraphale and began to massage her tense shoulders.   
That’s how they spent the rest of the day, taking turns to wash each other until the water turned cold. Then Crowley had scooped her up again, this time in a fluffy white towel, and Aziraphale insisted on dressing her. Once they were done she was carried to the front room where Aziraphale made her sit between them as he snapped up a fuzzy blanket and cocoa.   
“What about Gabriel.” She asked sleepily. The angel just smoothed down her wet hair before he kissed her forehead.  
“We will figure something out, just not now.” He shared a look with Crowley, who had been flicking through the channels to the TV.   
“Right now we’re safe.” Crowley gestured to the new wards around the front door, “I made sure of it.” The smile he sent her brightened something in her chest and she couldn’t help but smile back.  
Aziraphale flicked his wrist and the basket from their abandoned beach outing appeared, he handed out the snacks and when everything was out tipped the basket upside sown.

“What’s wrong?” Crowley asked distractedly. He’d wrapped his arm around Lily’s shoulders at this point, still not finding anything to watch. She snuggled closer to him, trying to not get hit by Aziraphale’s flapping hands.  
“I can’t find Lily’s hairbrush, did you take it out love?” Lily shook her head, she didn’t even know Aziraphale had packed it. The flustered angel placed the basket beside him, a troubled frown made it’s way on to his face.   
Crowley rolled his eyes but snapped up a vintage hairbrush with a silver handle and soft bristles. “Thank you dear, but it’s not the same. I lost it.” The angel grumped.  
Lily poked at him with her foot, “It’s not like I care about it. Pluss I get spoiled with a new one.” She held up the brush with a delighted giggle and watched as the light revealed a finely etched scene of Eden. An apple tree stood proudly in the middle of the brushes back, flowers and bushes surrounded it with little depictions of Adam and Eve. It was wonderful, a lovely present from a lovely demon.  
Crowley smugly grinned at her as he wiggled and sank deeper next Lily.   
Lily looked at both her boys. They were wonderful. They were amazing and kind and… there wasn’t enough words in any language that could explain just how good her boys were.   
They had forgiven her. No, they had apologised and looked after her.

Aziraphale’s hand went back to stroking her semi-dry hair, while Crowley sank slowly in his seat to cuddle into her side. Lily couldn’t help but smile.  
Yes they were in trouble, yes they needed to come up with a plan. But as long as they were together and communicating, then they could get through anything.

The missing Brush was weird though.


	6. Burning for love

Lily woke once again, and once again to the feeling of both her boys beside her. But she felt too hot and her stomach rolled as if she were about to vomit, maybe she ate too much. A glance around the room presented evidence of that, wrappers cluttered the coffee table and empty plastic boxes. She and Aziraphale had eaten the majority of the food as Crowley accepted small offering of the food, TV blaring some nonsense in the background. Aziraphale, surprisingly, said nothing about the TV as he had begun to become absorbed by the goings on of Downton Abbey. Lily had ignored it in favour of lavishing attention on a clingy demon by stroking his hair or drawing him close for a kiss. She had tried it with Aziraphale but he was unresponsive and sucked into the TV screen, the times he did respond he was distracted.   
A smile made its way on to her face, it was a fun night, even if Aziraphale ignored her.

She curled into herself. Ah, what was that?  
A sharp pain radiated from her stomach, sweat beaded on her forehead and she cringed as it dripped down her neck. Ugh, she needed to cool down. Everything was too hot and too painful.   
Slowly, she disentangled herself from her boys being careful not to wake them. Crowley fell with a thump but didn’t wake to her relief. Her boys deserved some sleep after what she put them through.  


On shaky legs she managed to drag herself to the fridge and open the door, blessed cool air hit her face. But it wasn’t enough.  
It felt like fire licked up her back and a punch had been thrown at her stomach. She cried out as another burst of pain erupted inside her, she found herself pressed against the cold tile floor but even that wasn’t enough to dampen the fire that engulfed her being.   
“Flower?” came Crowley’s voice and hands lifted her, but she couldn’t focus. Faces swam in and out of clarity, she could sense who it was and tried desperately to cutch at someone, anyone. A whine escaped her when she felt Crowley’s cool flesh against her own, as much as his exposed arms could.  
“Oh Honey, you’re burning up.” Aziraphale said as she was hefted in his arms, but his skin wasn’t as cool, and she wriggled to get closer to Crowley and his cold blooded body.

The room span but finally she was on something soft and the oasis that was Crowley pressed into her body, he had removed his shirt and she could feel the relief all the way to her bones.   
“Is this helping?” the demon asked, Lily couldn’t find her voice so elected to scrabble with uncoordinated limbs to draw him closer. “I take that as a yes then.” Crowley chuckled as Aziraphale lay a hand on her head. Something was attacking her, trying to render her from her corporal form. She needed somewhere safe, she needed to hide.  
One hand curled around Aziraphale’s wrist the other pressed into the small of Crowley’s back. She heard them cry out but they didn’t try to get away. A feeling of peace over came her, of clarity. She could see the faces of her boys, feel their skin against hers and smiled at them.   
“Keep me safe.” She whispered, then her eyes rolled back in her head and unconsciousness took her.

* * *

Aziraphale stared at her face as she slowly drew in breath, her hand slide from his wrist and he could see the curious shapes of her fingers across his flesh. It seemed she had burned her handprint onto his wrist, a quick glance at Crowley’s back confirmed she had done the same to him.  
“What was that?” Crowley asked, Aziraphale shook his head. He had no idea what had happened but had felt her soul briefly merge with his own. Had shivered in delight when she had delved in awash in the pure love she poured into him, Crowley must have felt the same if his shuddering breaths were any indication.  
Aziraphale opened his mouth, to say what he didn’t know, but a soft green glow stole his breath. He gently pulled the soft checkered fabric down a little to find the light slowly etching something into their flower’s chest, just where the heart is. “Crowley, look.”  
Crowley frowned down as the light finished it’s job and with a happy little blink faded.

There on Lily’s chest was a lily flower, wings behind it and a small snake nestled in its petals.

A bang redirected their attention to the door. Crowley had already vaulted over the sofa, bare chested but ready to kill whoever tried to harm their flower. Aziraphale hadn’t realised when the same sword he manifested earlier sat heavy in his hand. Whatever or whoever came for their Lily would have to go through them first, promise or no promise no one was going to touch her as long as he still lived. No one would touch his Crowley if he had a say in it, but Crowley wasn’t one for sitting back and Aziraphale knew better than anyone that he could protect himself.  
Aziraphale was ready for anything. Gabriel breaking down the door, Michael even Sandalphon. What he wasn’t prepared for was a panicked death, “Where is she?”   
Aziraphale didn’t get a chance to speak when the doorway only held the sparkling stars of the night sky. Death swept past the two, a shiver ran down Aziraphale’s spine as he felt the essence of death radiate from the newcomer. Crowley was the first to recover, bent over the back of the sofa to watch suspiciously as Death swept a hand over the sleeping form of their Flower. Aziraphale hovers, he couldn’t help it. Their love was lying on the sofa pale as the dead and breathing with shallow hurried breaths.

“Give me your hand.” Death demands, he reaches for Aziraphale’s hand, but the angel saw what he was reaching for. There where Lily had burned her mark into his skin was calla lily etched into the handprint, delicate but pulsing in a muted green light almost like a heartbeat. A shared glance with Crowley has the demon twisting to find the same etched into his back, just like Aziraphale, it’s etched into the handprint and pulsing.  
“What’s going on? Why do we have these and why is she like this?” Aziraphale can’t stop the frantic questions. Nothing made sense, they should be safe with all the warding against… well everything. Well, apparently Death could get through but there wasn’t really many wards against death.  
He could do nothing to help his love, nothing but watch and hope Death’s friendship with their Lily was enough to get the being to help.

Death hums, hand still outstretched but not touching, “Someone is trying to separate her being from her body,” He lets his hand drop, “she seems to be fighting it with your love for her. It’s strong enough to fend off the attack, but I don’t know for how long.”  
“Fix it then.” Crowley growled and Aziraphale admonishes him. As uncomfortable as Death made the angel, Death was helping and genuinely concerned for Lily. Death settles his hand over her head, but before long he yanks it back with a cry.  
“What! What’s wrong?” Aziraphale cried, already on his knees beside her, never mind Death. Crowley, however, slithered on to Lily in snake form and Lily’s face relaxed minutely. Death shook his hand out as if something had tried to latch onto him, and shivered, “She tried to defend herself and thought I was the source. Someone must have some of her feathers, it’s the only thing strong enough to do this.”

That was all well and good. But that did not help their dearest in the slightest. Maybe if Aziraphale could get to his shop there would be something there, or perhaps they should call that lovely witch. What was her name again?  
Lily always said it sounded like a sneeze.  
oh, of course, Anathema. Anathema would be able to help, surely. She had the whole of the device family line (and some others dating back to Agnes Nutter) collective research.   
the problem here lay in the fact that Aziraphale had no idea how to contact the young witch, as Lily was the only one with her number and Aziraphale didn’t know how to work her infernal device. (Funny because Lily’s phone had been a gift from Crowley and was in fact very infernal)

“Is there anything we can do? We can’t just sit and do nothing.” Crowley gave a grunt of agreement as he continued to keep Lily cool. She was babbling in her sleep, something about help and cages. Aziraphale had no idea what she could possibly be dreaming, but he heard his and Crowley’s name repeated, along with the phrase ‘keep me safe’.  
Death shook his head, “I will try and find out what’s going on. But in the meantime,” he produced a coin from nowhere and flipped it at Aziraphale, who hardly had time to catch it before Death was out the door with a, “Throw it into the fire to contact me.”

Well what was he to do now? Their beloved was probably dying, and they could do nothing, he could do nothing. Keep me safe she had said, and he couldn’t even do that as she was fighting a battle he couldn’t join. At least with Gabriel he could physically protect her, but something like this. He could do nothing. Nothing.  
Nothing, useless.  
He was useless.  


Gentle fingers uncurled Aziraphale’s hands from where he was carving crescents in his palm with his nails. He looked up through blurry eyes to find Crowley smiling calmly at him and gently telling him to breath, we are fine, we will look after our flower.   
And how strange it was that Crowley was the calm one this time, yes there was stress in his shoulders and the way he looked at Lily as if he were afraid; but he hadn’t panicked yet. Looking closely Aziraphale thought he saw Crowley doing the breathing exercises they had found on the internet to keep him calm. And once they both could breath without difficulty Aziraphale leant their foreheads together.

“We have a job to do.” Crowley said evenly, “our Flower needs us to look after her body and to love her so much she wins. I suggest we give her a bath so she feels clean and put her to bed.” He kissed Aziraphale’s head and cupped his cheek as they both pulled away to look at each other. Aziraphale let out a breath and nodded, so thankful that to have these two here with him and hopefully Lily would pull through to continue being with them.  
Aziraphale was tasked with filling the bath.  
All he could think was , thank whoever that she had known how loved she was beforehand. He didn’t know how he’d feel if she had gone into this not knowing or doubting. If that had happened…  
He caught sight of Lily’s mark. It wouldn’t happen, their love would help her through.


	7. Paradise lost

Crowley balled his fists against his thighs, but it did nothing to stop the shaking. This panic attack thing was really starting to get on his nerves, with how often they happened and in such inconvenient circumstances. Like now.  
It had been a month. A god – satan – whatever dammit, month.  
Aziraphale was falling apart and Lily was fighting a battle neither of the celestial beings could help with. He couldn’t swoop in at the last minuet and talk his way out of this, couldn’t drop a bomb on the threat. He could do nothing.   
useless. He was useless.

Death hadn’t been back in all that time, hadn’t even sent a message. Crowley had caught Aziraphale playing with the coin and fretting. He had tried to keep the angel’s mind occupied by looking after Lily’s unconscious body, but that just seemed to make him worse. They moved her back to the sofa, it was an easy exit to the door if anyone else came for her in her weakened state. At least that’s what Crowley said, but he just needed her close to them. They had made the front room their headquarters. Crowley had found book girls number and enlisted her help, apparently that help came with whole apocalypse gang; as they had found their Lily had kept contact with all of them. She’d managed to befriend each one and each of them had offered what little help they could give. Shadwell had begun looking into witch activity at the insistence of Madam Tracy, who had also begun to try and channel the dead again for any clues.   
The them had started helping Book Girl research through her family’s research, but the school holidays were over, and they found it hard to sneak away from school.   
Newt was… Well Newt was just making an absurd amount of tea.

And that was where Crowley was. Aziraphale had taken a break and would most likely be crying in the bath, unwilling to let Crowley in. Newt had been sent out for more tea, seeing as he had used up the tea bags and Anathema (Book Girl) sat cross legged not far from Crowley. She held a notebook aloft and tried not to look at Crowley as he tried to get through another panic attack.

Lightly he pressed his forehead against Lily’s shoulder and rested his head there, keeping watch of her face. He hadn’t been able to do this before they had finally gotten together, Lily had always been so open with her affection, but Crowley had been scared. Scared of heaven and hell, scared of what would happen if either of them found out he loved them. But now he craved the love that came from the small acts of intimacy. Longed for the little smiles she would share with him when he had performed a harmlessly demonic prank, longed for her to roll her eyes at him when he was being childish but ultimately joining in in the end.   
He just longed for her to be safe, with them.  
He wanted to hit someone, but that someone had probably tucked tail and returned to heaven. Bastard. Cowardly bastard. He couldn’t even stick around so Crowley could tear his wing off.

Lily twitched and Crowley shuffled closer to drape his cold body against hers. She sighed and murmured something that, even this close, he couldn’t hear. Crowley studied her face.   
Her hair spilled around her, knotted in placed and dulled by her own sweat, but she still looked beautiful to him. She still looked like his warrior Flower.  
He gave a sad smile as the fairy tale of sleeping beauty came to mind. Not the awful original tale, but the newer one where the princess woke, and everything was fine.   
How did the prince wake her again? Crowley frowned; he should know this from Lily’s insistence that they see all the blasted films.   


Actually, he liked them. Suspected for years that she only made a show of ‘forcing’ him to see them so he could keep his demonic ego unharmed. Crowley grinned when he remembered the glare she gave him when he told her she resembles the princess Aurora, he had only meant that she was just as kind and beautiful. And Crowley did not imagine himself to be the prince when he kissed the princess.

  
Crowley had drifted closer to Lily. A kiss, that was what had broken the spell wasn’t it? This wasn’t a fairy-tale and he was certainly no prince charming, but perhaps. Perhaps if he gave her enough of his love then she would wake. After all, didn’t Death say their love was helping her fight. If he gave her enough of his own then she would have the strongest weapon, she would have a chance to come back. He needed her to come back.  


Lovingly he cupped the side of her face, “Please,” he whispered. Anathema looked up then, but remained quiet, “Come back, I love you.” And then, ever so gently, he placed a soft kiss against her lips.

A crack resounded in his brain as the world fell away, spiralling as he found himself being pulled away from the cosy cottage. Crowley flailed weightless as blackness surrounded him. He looked down, only to find that he no longer had a body, but he was in his true form. Even the wings he had lost and had never grown back were here wrapped around his feet, and now that he realised, one pair had wrapped itself around his face. Fueled by an instinct he had thought died when he had fallen.   
“What?”   
Crowley startled at the voice, finally he pried the wings from his face and stood staring at the many bookshelves of Aziraphale’s shop. What was this? Crowley placed a hand on the nearest shelf and a matching energy pulsed from his lower back, right where the mark was.  
Whatever this place was it was made by Lily.

Crowley whipped around at the sound of a door slamming and the rattle of chains and locks hurried after it. There stood in front of the door, eyes wide and fearful, stood Lily. Her hair hung down her back in a matted mess and her face seemed gaunt even in the warmly lit bookshop. She wore the clothes she had fallen ill in, though they seemed duller and washed out. This was not the Lily he had been laying down with, this Lily was ragged and a shaken mess.  
“Crowley? Is it… Is it you?” she tentatively poked at his arm and when he didn’t disappear her eyes met his once again before she latched on to him like the worlds largest limpet. “It is. You’re here.” She manged to get out, muffled as she was against Crowley’s chest. Crowley for his part tried desperately to merge her to him, if he could just hold on then maybe he could bring her back with him. Maybe if he willed it enough then he could bring her back  


“Oh, Flower. Of course, I’m here.” He pressed a kiss to her hair and she finally pulled back; a hand darted out wipe tears from her own eyes, but Crowley let his fall. Who ever did this to their Flower was going to burn, he just hoped Aziraphale would let him have a go first.  
Crowley caught her hand and pressed a kiss to the palm of it, “Tell me, please, tell me how to help.” He kissed her palm again. Lily shook her head, eyes darting away to somewhere over his shoulder.  
He let out a gasp for air he didn’t need but pushed the ensuing panic attack aside as much as he could. “Please. How do I help. Lily?”   
She still refused to look at him, but she did speak. “You can’t.” She said, tears welling in her eyes again, “Not like this.” She pulled her hand from his death grip, but it wasn’t gone for long as it wrapped around to press against the small of his back, “I’m about to do something, and I want you to know I love you. I love you and Zira, but this will hurt you, both of you.” Finally she did look him in the eyes.

This made no sense. And what was she going to do that would hurt them? Whatever it was it had to be stupid, stupid and dangerous.  
Crowley was about to protest but the door swung open again. Chains pulled from their hinges and a very familiar voice calling out to Lily. Lily pressed a kiss to Crowley’s mouth but before he could respond she had pushed him. He stumbled and fell backwards, arms outstretched to Lily; but she just mouthed ‘I love you’ as the image of Gabriel looped his arms around her and pulled her through the door. Crowley screamed her name as he continued falling, falling through the bookshop floor, falling through the cottage until he landed in his body.

“Crowley! Crowley, please this isn’t funny.” Aziraphale gasped as he cradled Crowley to him. Anathema stood above him, concerned frown on her face. But he had no time for explanations or comforting words.  
“I saw her. Zira, we need to get to heaven.” He pushed at Aziraphale’s arms, panicked and ready to fight. He leapt to his feet and pulled his angel up with him. Anathema side stepped the two to peer over at Lily, “Did she tell you anything useful?” the young witch asked, but was drowned out by Aziraphale’s worried questions.  
“Is she ok? “ The angel grabbed at Crowley’s arm, “What’s happening?”  
Lily groaned behind them and Crowley had no time to explain as she shouted. Her body lurched up as if pulled by a string from her middle, eyes wide open and staring at nothing. Anathema gasped and Crowley saw Lili’s eyes as the green made room for gold and blue. Anathema grabbed at one of her books and began chanting as Aziraphale knelt beside Lily. When she dropped back to the sofa, Crowley could only stare.  
“Keep me safe.” She whispered one last time.   


Her chest stilled and all colour drained from her eyes, until they were a glassy grey. Soon All the colour had begun to drain from her body. Crowley knelt beside Aziraphale, neither knowing what to do. Stopping time wouldn’t solve this, his sharp tongue couldn’t solve this, he couldn’t solve this. All he could do was allow Aziraphale to cling to him and sob as their Lily, their Flower, melted back into the clay she had shaped herself from. Anathema had stopped her chanting and had fallen to the floor, Crowley could hear her own sobs mix with Aziraphale’s. Pain for a friendship he had never known they had pouring from her.

Keep her safe?  
How could they keep her safe when she was…   
If she was…  
Dead.

Never again would their Flower pull one of them from their seat at the ritz to dance, never again would she read to him on his bad days or laugh at his jokes. He’d never seen her hair glitter in the sun of a summer without rain or smell the peppermint of her new tea. He’d never again feel her in his arms, kiss her or tell her how much he adored her.  
Never again.  


Finally, he let out a choked sob.  
She was dead and he was powerless to stop it. She was dead.  
She was dead.  
She was dead.  
Their Flower was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long but I'm having troubles in real life and they sort of got in the way.   
> But at last you have the next heart breaking chapter of our ineffable triad. I hope you can forgive me but seeing as this chapter is a horrid one, well I doubt it.
> 
> Thank you to those who comment and to those who just read and leave Kudos. I appreciate each and every one of you.


	8. Best intentions, worst results

Gabriel mashed the remaining ingredients together with the pestle and mortar. The human way was rather slow and messy, but it was the only thing that seemed to affect the divine being trapped staring at the half alive animals placed at four points around her. Their blood ran a circle around her in the sigils Gabriel had meticulously painted on the floor of this room he had created. As he said before, messy.  
But each creature was keeping Lily captured behind a bubble of sickly green mist that occasionally spluttered a black spark and one of her feathers held in the mouth of each animal as they wheezed out breaths. Now all he needed to do was convince her to come to heaven or use the strands of hair he had twisted into a sort of bracelet to make her.

“Did you enjoy your little chat with that demon?” Gabriel asked, focused as he was on his task he did glance up. Lily had been held by him for days, though time worked differently here, and it could be less time on earth. She’d put up a good fight, but without her body to protect her essence she was no match for the human spells he had used to strip her powers down. It was evidenced by her pallor and the exhausted way her image huddled on the floor. It was always a pity when they refused to co-operate, but he was a good son and he was helping her to fulfil her duty. He was a good son. A good archangel, despite that demon and Aziraphale messing up the apocalypse. It wasn’t his fault. He was a good angel. He wasn’t like the fallen. He would not fall.

“Why? Why are you doing this?”  
Gabriel placed his tools down on his little work bench. Lily had managed to drag herself into a cross legged position and Gabriel stepped around his bench to get closer to her. “I mean, you could have left us alone, we wouldn’t have bothered you anymore.” She said desperately, with a hint of anger. Gabriel shook his head at what little she knew, what little she understood.  
“Don’t you see, I’m saving you from them. Aziraphale is lost, but I can save you. What is there for you that heaven could not provide?” In his head there was nothing greater than heaven, than working in heaven and being apart of it. Heaven was where they belonged, as long as they were good and followed the rules. Rules were there for a reason, to stop angels from falling. They were there because God was all knowing and should not, _should not_ be questioned.

“What could heaven provide? My beloveds for one.” She shouted, she glared as hard as he had ever seen someone glare before.  
Love. What did she know of love?  
“Love means nothing. They betray you in the end, they rebel and leave you behind where you have to pick yourself up and move on. They forget you and what you shared.” Gabriel turned back to the bench and pushed a flower with his index finger, his jaw worked to bite back the emotions he had left buried in sulphur and betrayal.  
Lily shifted closer and Gabriel tried not to meet her eye when he paced frustrated at her naivety. “What do you know of love?” She asked gently, a sad frown on her face like she knew his pain. Like she had any understanding of what he had gone through. He did not need her pity though, he had dealt with this. Love, that she spoke, of was nothing but a fantasy. They pretend to give you their heart and all they were, but they don’t mean it. When it comes to choosing, they always leave you behind.

Gabriel clenched his hands and straightened. If she wanted to know exactly what love did and could do, then he would educate her. “They promise you a future together. Promise you forever, but it never lasts. They choose someone else and they fight, they fall and they forget you. They become a lord and you only get to see them when the apocalypse is nigh.” He lets out a snarl, “Then you hope that after the war is won they would be alive and you could help them repent.” He moved back to his bench and had the pestle and mortar in hand as he ground the ingredients with a force enough to cause a fracture in the mortar.  
He glanced up again, but instead of Lily there sat an angel with short cropped, curly, black hair and large white wings. Blue eyes stared at him with a slight frown, as if they were trying to work out what he was talking about.

Gabriel grasped the edge of the bench, “Barachiel.” He breathed, knowing it wasn’t real but caught off guard none the less. Images of blue eyes smiling at him as they grabbed at his hand. Joyful and curious as they lead Gabriel to a new wonder they had found in heaven. A voice so beautiful he felt the draw like an invisible string pulling him to them. Words of love and promises of forever, whispered in the darkness that would hold the stars.  
Then flashes of a sword. Staring into his loves eyes as they chose Lucifer over God, over him. He remembered those smiling eyes gone and in its place a fire that could only be extinguished by the boiling sulphur pits they were thrown into. He had watched as everything about his love was burned away and their voice distorted, in it’s place a buzz remained. A sound that had followed Gabriel until the apocalypse, where he could finally see them again.  
But they didn’t remember.  
Didn’t understand why he insisted they work together.  
Didn’t feel the love Gabriel had locked away and buried with duty and rules.  
Didn’t remember.

  
“Who’s Barachiel?”  
“No one.” He snapped, finally brought to the present. Lily seemed to sober at that and her anger returned. It was no wonder she reminded him of Baracheil. She had a determination and strength to her that Barachiel had shared, back when they were young and Lucifer hadn’t started his rebellion.  
“Let me go. I will never work for you, no matter how much you torture me.” She had heart and a steel that he could admire. But ultimately she didn’t have a choice here. He would save her. Because he was a good son, a good angel.  
He would save her, even from herself.

Gabriel held up the bracelet made of her hair, the paste he had made covered it and slowly sank into the strands. “I’m sorry. But if you refuse to co-operate, I’ll have to make you.”  
Gabriel willed her to raise her hands and watched as her face fell as she did so. This was a start, but he couldn’t keep her like this indefinitely. No, he needed to get rid of the corrupting influence. “Hmm, after this I think we shall pay your,” he twisted his face up as he bit out the next sentence, “Beloveds. The only way to truly save you is to have you kill them. Aziraphale is beyond saving and that demon deserves it for corrupting an angel and life. I’m sure if holy water and hell fire doesn’t do the trick, then you will.”

He smiled happily at her. She would thank him some day, when she’s remembered her place and realises that her place is in heaven. That love should be given to God, not a disobedient principality and a demon.

Lily’s screamed wordlessly at him as she sank to the floor in an exhausted ball. He let her arm go and it flopped uselessly at her side. Satisfied he turned and manifested the door, but before he could leave he heard her moving. He looked back at the broken thing he would put back together, hoping she may have finally understood and would give him thanks. All he saw was a burning hatred as she spat, “Fuck you.” And walked into the barrier.  
It took seconds. She screamed and he swore they were the same as Barachiel’s. The slow disintegration of each body part merged with the memory of bubbling sulphur and melting wings. He tried to stop it. His feet caught on each other as he tried to destroy the circle and dislodge a half alive animals. But ultimately it was too late.

His bracelet gave a final dull glow and went out.

The ground shook and knew that this would be felt throughout the universe. Life was dead and gone. As with Death, killing life had started the world back on the path of destruction.

* * *

Aziraphale pushed away from Crowley and stood. Their Lily was dead and gone, they knew was responsible. There was no one else that could have done this and he would not let her murder go without justice. He materialised his sword in his hand, the sword that he had subconsciously made with all three of them in mind. Something that symbolised to him how they worked well together as a team and as a triad. A triad that now had become just a him and Crowley.  
But even if it was just the two of them they would find a way to gain justice.

The angel reached down and tipped the stunned demons face upwards, “What are you…” Crowley didn’t finish as Aziraphale stood above him, no doubt he looked as he had when Gabriel had attacked Lily on the beach. He was a warrior and he was ready to do battle against the whole of heaven for what they had taken from them. But first he needed an army, one that could take on heaven and hell. This wasn’t just to protect the earth now. Now this was far more personal.   
“You better stand up dear, we have much to prepare for.” He told his dear demon. The only thing he had left and the thing he would keep safe.  
Crowley seemed to understand as he stood and held on to the angel’s hand. They nodded at each other, “For our Flower.” Crowley said with tears still in his eyes.  
“For our Flower.” Aziraphale agreed as he looked at her mark on his hand. He swore he saw a faint green glow, but wasn't sure.   
They would do this for her though.

They would do this for Lily, who had brought them nothing but joy.  
They would do this for their beloved, who had loved them more than her own life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so have another short chapter.  
> Soooo, what did you think of this one. Should Gabriel have a redemption arc or nah?  
> I'm sure we all know who Barachiel is now, wasn't exactly subtle. But still how are you all liking it so far?
> 
> As always thank you to those who comment and leave kudos. I would especially like to thank you all for your well wishes and patience as I have to deal with the real world (boo), but seriously thank you for being the lovely readers you are and sticking with me.


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